Remember this:

Illustration by Khiel Precious Flores

May we all live a life that we are proud of, may we always be safe of just feeling— knowing that we are not always happy and that being okay. May we be gentler with ourselves and may everything we touch and create bloom into something that changes our lives in the most majestic of ways.

I am a 22 year-old woman who always feels like running out of time. Not a day passes that I don’t worry about the future. Having born in a family that had to learn how to live the hard way, I grew up telling myself that only through the reward of hard work can I be happy.

Illustation by Khiel Precious Flores

But I had tasted a hard to swallow pill; truth is, not all hard works have immediate reward but it still worthy to take the risk.

When I first started my business, Classic Finds, I was really dedicated to making it grow and by that I meant I wanted more followers, I wanted more recognition, I wanted engagements and I wanted orders. I seek validation from these things and from other people.

During that time, more businesses are trying to arise online especially because of the pandemic. The competition was tough and I knew nothing about business, the only thing I knew is I love fashion and I dream of establishing my own fashion brand someday.

I still took the risk together with my mom and older sister.

I knew I worked hard. I knew I gave my whole heart to establishing Classic Finds, I am no expert but I knew deep in my soul how many sleepless nights we had and how hard we tried to make each and every piece fascinating.

I didn’t have the engagement I was expecting to have. There were times where I feel discouraged seeing other businesses grow with thousands of followers even though they just started, too, like me.

Illustration by Khiel Precious Flores

I hated to admit it but I felt insecure.

Have you ever wonder why some people just have it easy? Why for some of us, success needs to take too much ounce of their being while for other people, all they needed was to exist in the moment?

I thought to myself: I worked hard for this and I deserve so much more.

But, aren’t we all?

I only see a part of other people’s whole picture. It was bold for me to judge that they have it easy but I never know what they needed to sacrifice, how much time and work they needed to spend just to be in that place or what are they even going through with their personal lives and that humbles me.

At some point, something inside me clicked and I realized how hard am I to myself and how much I fail to recognize other people’s effort. I never wanted to feel insecure, but as bravely as I could, I knew I needed to recognize what I feel. By acknowledging my feelings and understanding where it is rooted, then I could expand as a person. All throughout that first step of my journey I was focused on the outcome and I tend to discard the beautiful process.

Illustration by Khiel Precious Flores

I forgive myself for not knowing any better.

Then, I learned to see the beauty in it; I met friends online and I received genuine love and support. I was able to bond with my family and somehow give them little gifts. I also learned to be more organized all the while becoming a better version of me—all these little beautiful things I failed to see before.

I became grounded more than ever.

Sometimes I wonder if I continued focusing on the outcome, on other people and to all the things that fluctuates then my value would also be inconsistent.

The value of my being is always expanding and I shouldn’t have seen it as something dependent on other people’s validation.

Now, I am seeing Classic Finds more than a business. It became a tool for my self-discovery and learning, and through this I have learned to recognize my personal growth. Although, up until this very moment I have yet to see the end of this journey. My progress is not linear and definitely not rapid, but knowing that the real treasure lies in the process rather than the outcome makes this world a little lighter.

It humbles me knowing that everyone of us have different paths, different journeys and therefore different process to go through. If I hadn’t took the risk I would’ve never learned these lessons. I stopped yearning for an outcome and started enjoying the space between where I was, where I am and where I am going.

Little by little we are headed towards our dream lives. Truly, there is beauty in this moment.